Walk With Me
by DedicatedWallflower
Summary: "I feel my heart sink to the bottomless pit of sadness that flows through me, she's like me. It explains the gum and the hat" Peeta "As he looks up at me, his hood drops, even the baseball hat can't hide head. Shock lurches through me like a train, he must be like me, he has to be" Katniss When life takes everything from them will they give in or hang to each other? AU Mild OOC
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ Hey to all my dedicated readers, like that, DedicatedWallflower, dedicated readers… No, well I'll stick to writing. This is an amazing story that I have taken over from blackstarashes14, it is already amazing and all I can hope to do is make it even better!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN the hunger games or lyrics to Sara Beth by rascal flatts. or Wal -mart. or polar ice gum.**

**Chapter 1: Gum and Brothers**

**Katniss POV**

I sit on my bed staring out the window as the rain drops hit. I look around my dark forest green walls looking at all the pictures on them, my family, my friends. I set my eyes on a picture from when I was little, before it all happened. The pictured was taken when I was 7. So much has changed in 8 years. My brown hair I got from my father is two side braids cascading down my back. I see the dirt on my jeans. I remember mom being so pissed about that. Finnick my oldest brother is putting two finger behind my second oldest brother has Gale the youngest brother in a headlock but still smiling at the hospital ones too hang up there on the wall. I see my camera sitting on my desk. I jump up from my bed and slide my socks on the wooden floors and grab it and head through the hallways and down house is very large because we have a family of six. My room is the farthest on the house because I liked having the view of the trees. When I'm downstairs I see my mom cooking dinner. Once I enter the kitchen I sit at the island. When my mom hears me she turns around I snap a picture of her. She just pokes out her lounge at me. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun, her blue eyes shining. We both laugh at the picture I had just taken. Finnick comes into the room and opens the pantry.

"Hey Ma what's for dinner" Finnick asked while popping a sugar cube in his mouth.

"Finn stop eating those who just got your cavity filled." Mom scolded him while snatching the rest out of his hands; he's 19 but has the attitude of a five year old. "And we are having turkey tacos for dinner which I needed to ask you something" Mom had put the sugar cubes in the trash for good measure.

"I need you to run to the store and pick up some onions and Katniss' prescription from the pharmacy". Mom said. I would go but, mom prefers it if I didn't drive in my "condition". I don't even have a driver's license. I still need to go to the store though.

"Sorry mom, I would but I have to go pick up Parker then we have swim practice" Finnick says grabbing his keys. He goes over and kisses our Mom on the cheek "Bye".

"Bye" Mom says with a sigh. I can tell she doesn't want to go to the store. So I give her an idea.

"Why don't you ask Gale"? I say matter-of-fact tone.

"He is soccer practice right now". She says chopping the lettuce. Right after she says that. Cato comes in the house.

"MOM IM HOME"! Then you can hear him bounding up the stairs to his room which right next to my room. I can hear him shut the door and turn on his music.

"Why don't you ask Cato to go"? I ask. Mom responds with shouting "CATO"! I'm surprised he could even hear her through his music. Because in less than 30 seconds he come charging down the stairs. He comes into the kitchen and sits next to me at the island. "What's up sissy"? I just roll my eyes at his nickname. "Mom needs you to go to the store and I need to buy some stuff ". I say with a teasing smile because I know he will go.

"Whoa-mom does me really"? He whines to mom.

"Yes I really need you to pick up some onions and Katniss' prescription from the pharmacy". Mom asks with a smile.

"Fine I'll go. Lemma grabs my jacket ".Cato says going upstairs.

I hurry and grabbed my shoes and tied them and ran upstairs to grab my money. I went back downstairs right before I made it to the door mom poked her head around the corner and said "That's what you're gonna wear to the store"? I looked down at me a little too big black sweat shirt that covers my purple sweat shorts and my worn out converses. And I look to the mirror and see that I forgot my hat. I keep looking in the marrow unable to process my feelings I touch the top of my head and can feel the peach fuzz in the mirror you can barely see the brown fuzz. We had shaved it a couple weeks ago and I keep trimming it because I hate to what little hair I might still have before I start chemo. "Sorry I'll get my hat" My mom just nods her head. I grab one of my many knit caps that my mom has made. I pick a deep purple one. And mom gives me a smile when I say goodbye and head to Cato's car. I jump in the passenger side.

"Took ya long enough" he says pulling out the driveway. We were passing by a house on the corner that had the for-sale sign but it had a big sold banner on it. "Hey look they finally sold that house ". He just nodded in starts to mess with the radio when we got to a light. He likes country. I tense up when I hear the song but Cato seems too busy to notice the song. The song describes everything about me. I feel like they wrote it about just and just changed the age of the girl and the name. Cato finally notices the song and goes to change it mumbling a "sorry". But I stop his hand before he gets to the radio and I close my eyes listening to the song.

_Sara Beth is scared to death  
to hear what the doctor will say  
she hasn't been well  
since the day that she fell  
and the bruise it just won't go away  
_I was eight years old. My mom had thought I had the Flu. But that changed when she was helping me in the bath and she noticed the bruise along my back. My mom had called my dad and they took me to the doctors. I was so little I didn't understand what was going on._  
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad  
and flips through an old magazine  
til the nurse with a smile stands at the door  
and says "Will you please come with me?"  
_We waited and waited. I just played with Lego's._  
Sara Beth is scared to death  
Cause the doctor just told her the news  
Between the red cells and white  
Something's not right  
But we're gonna take care of you_

After the doctor had looked at me, He took us in his office I didn't really pay attention to what he was out I had **acute lymphocytic** leukemia .But when I saw my mom burst into tears crying and holding me saying "my baby, my baby girl, my sweet baby" over and over again in-between sobs. My dad looked teary eyed too.

_Six chances in ten it won't come back again  
It's just been approved it's the strongest there is  
But I think we caught it in time  
Sara Beth closes her eyes_

I remember my first chemo. It was really cold even with my blue clues blanket. My mom read me stories. While the nurse took the needle in the chest tube I had just gotten.

_And she dreams she's dancing' around and around  
without any cares  
and her very first love  
is holding her close  
And the soft wind is blowing her hair_

I had always wanted to be a dancer even when I was young me and mom would dance around in the yard or in the kitchen. Cato or Finnick would dance with me the boys found out I remember Finnick just keeping his head down. Cato had started to cry while hugging his me his, little baby sister. I didn't really know why. I'll I knew was that I was really sick. Gale took some time to explain to. But when he did understand he just looked at me sadly.

_Sara Beth is scared to death  
as she sits holding her mom  
Cause It would be a mistake  
for someone to take  
a girl with no hair to the prom_

When I would go outside to play with my brothers, they wouldn't let me play outside with them they would just take me back inside and play with them inside.

_For just this morning right there on her pillow  
was the cruelest of any surprise  
Yet She cried when she gathered it all in her hands  
the proof that she couldn't deny  
Sara Beth closes her eyes_

When I first started to lose my hair from chemo, my mom had cried. And so I cried with her. The next day we shaved my head.

_And she dreams she's dancing' around and around  
without any cares  
and her very first love  
was holding her close  
And the soft wind was blowing her hair_

_It's quarter to seven  
that boy's at the door  
Her daddy ushers him in  
And when he takes off his cap they all start to cry  
Cause this morning where his hair had been  
Softly she touches just skin_

_They go dancing' around and around  
without any cares  
and her very first true love  
is holding her close  
and for a moment she isn't scared  
Ohhhhhh_

When the song ends I have tears in my eyes. I open my eyes to find Cato looking ahead with his cheeks stained wet. We sit in silence until we pull into the Wal-Mart parking looks over to me "It should've been me you were and still are too young to have to deal with this". I just smile at him tears coming down my face now. "It was meant to be me. That's why I have it." Cato and I probably have the best relationship out of me and my brothers. Me and Gale had been really close before my cancer. But after that, it's just not the same anymore. When we finished out little brother sister moment, we headed inside and grabbed a cart. Whenever we go somewhere I always get few stares here and there. But I don't care anymore about what people think.

"Alright I'm gonna grab the onion and your prescriptions and few other things mom is having me grab I'll meet over by the milk. Got it?' I just nodded at him finally understanding why he had a cart.

I grabbed a basket and headed over to the candy and grabbed ten packs of the ten packs of polar ice gum. I have this hobby where I eat the gum then I take the wrappers and put them in this box I have then when I get bored I fold them into chains. I went over to the hats and Jackets and gloves department and I saw I cool nightmare before Christmas hat so I put that in there too. I saw a woman with her child. And she smiled at me so I smiled back.

I headed over to the teen girls clothes department to pick up some new t-shirts I don't get very often so I always like to get what I can. I walked over to the shirts and sat there looking at each one. I heard a gasp from behind me so I turned around saw two girls walking behind a clothes rack they seemed to be whispering and looking back to each other than at me. I noticed they seemed to be twins but one had a little rounder frame. I decided to just ignore them.

I decided I need some new music too. I walked over to the CD's. I hated buying them on iTunes because if I like the song then I like the band so then I just by the CD then burn it onto my iPod. I decide I want to get Simple Plan so head over there and see only a boy with his hoodie up in this section. I look over the names of the bands till I see Simple plan and their albums I pick up the album Get Your Heart On. I scan over the songs on the back when I hear something drop. It's pretty quiet since it a Tuesday. I look over to the boy picking up what he pack of gum. Hmm. I guess I'm not the only one.

When he comes back up his hood drops. I can't help but stare. He is wearing a baseball cap under his hood. His head is completely hairless. No hair on his eyebrows. He looks my age too. He seems to feel me staring but I quickly look at the CD's in front of me. I think he did catch me staring but didn't see me exactly. Because I can hear him scoff as if saying "Typical, stare at the kid with cancer then look away". I'm the same way when people stare then look away but I catch them. I realize how much we have in common with gum and you know the whole cancer thing. I snicker at my own little joke. But quickly stop when I realize I did it out oh. I hear walking over to me but just try to pretend to ignore that I can hear him. Please just keep walking by. He stops. Dammit. He looks at the CD's near me. Maybe he didn't hear me.

I try to look out of the corner of my eye. He is staring at me with a glare. Crap. He heard me.

**AN: This is not my work, so I apologize for grammar and spelling errors, I will post her other chapter sometime tomorrow, and then I will start with my own. You can expect updates at least every other night and I will try my best to read any of your stories that you want me to read! **

**FOR ANY OF YOU WHO LIFES PUZZLERS, FINAL PIECERS, OR FIRST SIGHTERS, WHOM HAVE CLICKED ON THIS AND WANT TO HELP ME EDIT THE NEXT CHAPTER, THAT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME… I HAVE A LOT GOING ON AND I COULD USE A BETA ON THIS ONE! **

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	2. Chapter 2

AN/: Hey ! This is the last chapter that is not mine! I apologize for any mistakes but I'm almost positive that there aren't any!

REVIEW FOR MY NEW CHAPTER TONIGHT! CAN WE GET SEVEN MORE BY TEN FOR THE UPDATE TONIGHT?

DICLAIMLER: i do not own the hunger games or any other big trademark or name you see okay!

Peeta POV

Chapter 2: New Place, New Faces.

I stare out the window of our Escalade as it starts to rain. Prim has her music way too loud and it's starting to annoy me. I look at everyone in the car, trying to see if anyone else is being tortured by her music. I see my dad driving, not paying attetion to anyone. Mom is taking a nap in the passenger seat. Charlie and Delly, my twin sisters who are 18, are busy listening to their music and flipping through their magazines in the backseat. Not really caring anymore, I turn to Prim and rip off her headphones.

"If you don't turn that down, I'm going to throw you in 'One Direction'. It will be out of the car," I tell her. She looks at me not shocked at the most by my threat. They usually sound like that.

"Whatever." She rolls her eyes at me. I'm just glad she turned her music down. I decide to play some on my iPod. My Chemical Romance comes on Shuffle. The rain is now pouring down.

Mom finally wakes up. She turns around her in her seat and looks at me.

"Peeta, hon, are warm enough?" She gives me worried look.

"Yes mom. I'm fine," I answer her same question for the 5th time. She gives me a few pats my knee and goes to mess with the heat controls. I go back to looking out the window, keeping to myself.

My life has changed alot. When I was digansosed with ALL, my whole family altered with me. I used be a very charming boy who liked to talk to everyone. Now I just like to watch on the sidelines, to not be bugged. I don't go out with friends anymore. I don't like the way people at my old school would look at me. Because they had known the type of person I was before cancer got to me.

When we had found out I had ALL, I was 13 and I understood what was happening to me. My mom had I thought I just got the flu from school and bruise on my side from playing football with my friends. But when the bruise wouldn't go away, and the throwing up blood had started my mom took me to the hospital. They had diagnoised me with ALL (acute lymphositic leukemia). I remember my whole family being depressed for a while. But over time, everyone got over it. Well, execpt me, of course. I still can't believe that this happened. I keep expecting to one day, just wake up from this nightmare that's happened to me.

I have to start another round of chemo in a couple weeks. So I don't expect myself to go out at all for a while. I search through my music and decide to get some new songs. I hate to buy them on iTunes. I mean, if you like a song, why pay 99 cents for it when you can get their whole abulm for 5 dollars? I soon drift off into dreamless sleep.

I hear a soft voice lulling me from my eventless slumber. "Peeta... Peeta... Peeta... Wakie, wakie." I'm dipping in and out of consiousness . I can hear some whispering and I feel cold and wet breeze. Someone has unlocked a car door near me.

Before I can fully wake up someone decides to shout me awake.

"PEETA! GET UP, WE'RE HERE!" I can regonize the voice. Charlie. What is her problem? I literally end up on the ground because someone chose to open the door I was leaning on.

"Peeta sweetie, get off the ground, it's muddy. And put on your hat before you catch a cold." Mom orders, not even bothering to look at what happened exactly.

"The moving truck should be here in a couple hours," Dad finally says while unlocking the door to our new house. I had already called my room during the virtual tour of it. The farthest room of the house with the view of the trees. I thought it was nice and it may give me something to draw. It's a medium sized room enough to fit my bed, dresser, and desk, with a big white trimmed window with the view of the trees.

"Peeta honey, why don't you come to Wal-Mart with us? We need to pick up a few things. Charlie and Delly will be going too. Prim is gonna walk around the neighborhood. So you can go walk with Prim or you can come with us," Mom fills me in on what I had missed. I sit in the middle of my room floor considering my options. I remember I needed to get some stuff.

"Yeah, ok I'll go with you guys"I decide as I get up and fix my hat. On the drive to Wal-Mart, my parents just talk to Delly and Charlie, who keep saying they will have to buy some new jackets and jeans because of the weather here. They are just looking for an exucse to get new clothes. Personally I think that the weather here is fine. It may be raining but, at least its a slgihtly warm rain. I know I would wear shorts, if it weren't for the bruises on my legs.

When we reach the parking lot, I pull up my hood so no one stares. I hate when people look at me differently. As if I'm some alien from Cancer Planet. I smile at little at my joke as the cold breeze from the sliding doors blows my clothes back a bit.

When we get inside the store, my father grabs a cart and my sisters go running off somewhere. I follow loosely behind my parents. When we are at the pharmacy, I can't help but stare at this guy who looks around my age with blond hair wetted down by the rain. He is staring at what I am guessing is a grocery list, but he keeps rubbing his puffy eyes. He seems that is trying to hold back a few tears, like he had been crying earlier. I can't look anymore because he looks like he is about to have his breakdown any minute. I turn to my mom who seems to be watching the same thing as me. But she has a sad look on her face. When he gets to the counter, we scoot up in the line since we were right behind him. I can't help but easedrop on the small conversation.

The boy has a pretty deep voice when he speaks to the pharmasist who gives him an apologetic look.

"How is she doing"? the druggist asks.

"She is, well, doing really good actually. Mom was worried about her coming with me today, but she let her come anyways. But I do need a few of her medications before chemo starts,"

the boy says with a small smile. I'm guessing he is here with family member, but I don't see anyone else with him. He pulls out the grocery list and reads of the medications while she nods her head, typing them into a computer "Adriamycin, Vumon and those probiotics for her stomach." Whoever this "she" is, they have almost the same medications I take.

"Alrighty then. Those will be ready in about 20-30 minutes. Tell your family I said hello," the woman says with that's different name. Not like Peeta is any better . But still.

"Sure thing Mrs. Undresee, thanks," the guy apparently named Cato says and walks away with the cart.

I decide now would be a good time to get my CD's. So I turn to my mom. "Hey mom I'm going to go look at some CD's," I tell her.

"Okay hun, be nice". She warns because she knows I could get pretty mean with people I don't know.

I start my way over to the music. I walk pass the gum and notice I'll want some later. I'm almost out of my other stash. I have this strange additction to gum. I know, it's werid. I grab a ten pack and keep my head down and my hood up. I walk over to the music and look at the different CD's, searching for one that I like. Nothing so far. I hear someone come up and stop at the end of the aisle. I look over very quickly I dont see their head. I just look at the shoes. Pretty worn out Converses that are purple. And the basket next to the shoes can definetly tell me its a girl with a strange gum habit. But I have no room to say anything about that. I also see a hat there, too. Girls hate hats. Right? Especially beanies. I see a few shirts. I can't see what's on them but they are girl shirts.

She kicks her basket with her foot and makes her way up the to the 'S' section. I realize I've been staring way to long and quickly jerk my body to different spot. I drop my gum in the process. Great. Now I look like I'm klutzy. Wait, why do I care? When I go to pick up my gum, my hood slips off my head. I hear a very small gasp. I go to look the girl, which is where I'm guessing is where the gasp from. But when I look at her, she has turned her back and she has a hood up and her head down looking at the CD's. I can tell she had seen my head because she is the only one around! I scoff at her. How typical. Sure, look at the kid with the cancer. But when he looks back at you, hurry look away before he turns you to stone. Just when I'm about to leave, I hear her snicker. Did she just laugh? Like she had gotten away with it? This just ticks me off even more.

I start to walk over there, but she doesn't seem to notice me. Well, isn't she in for surprise? By the time my footsteps have stopped, I'm amazed she hasn't turned around yet. I'm also suprised by another thing. There is certainly something different about this girl. Normally, when I'm this close to a girl, pefurme practically radiates off them. Not with this girl. She does have a smell though, but its not intoxicating like the Delly's or Charlie's or even Prim's. It smells like unscented lotion and Polar Ice gum. The same kind I get. Before I realize it, I had the glare of my face. She looks me straight in the eye. I feel like my heart sink. She is just like me. That must explain all the gum and the hat. She looks worrried like I'm about to have a heart attack. I just might. She is talking. Her mouth is moving. But I can't hear.

"Dude, hello?" She says waving a hand in front of my face. Her hood has fallen I look at her deep purple hat, unable to speak. I quickly wipe the glare off my face. No reason to be mad at her anymore. I look at her hand and see the scars. But to make her think I wasn't staring at her scars, I grab the disc out of her hands. She was looking at and Observe It, Simple Plan, and Get Your Heart On. Before I knew what I was saying, I told her, "Their other album is better. Here." I pick up their other record.

"Thanks," she smiles. I think my heart just skipped a few hundred beats.

"No problem," I reply as I lean up against the CD rack. She starts to study me very closely as if I'd run away any minute.

"Peeta Mellark: A.L.L," I inform and stick out my hand for her to shake. She gives me a confused look as if what to do next . Then I can see it register in her face and she takes my hand. Our scars resemble the other's. Match each other's.

"Katniss Everdeen: A.L.L," she smiles. Her smile is contagious. I can't help but smile a little at how her eyes shine as if she was proud of her condition.

"Ah, looks like we have anything in common," I say as I stare at her basket.

"Excuse me?" She acts confused, but I can tell she already understands.

"Polar Ice gum," I point to her basket.

"Oh yeah, i guess. So are you new here or something? This a pretty small town and I'm pretty sure I would've seen you before," she surmises, not daring to look away from my eyes.

"Yeah, we just got here today actually. From California. My family and I. Are from there?" I inform her while rubbing my neck. When have I ever been nervous? What kind of effect does this girl have on me? And why hasn't she ran away yet? I know she is like me, but there are plenty of guys that would date her. I mean, look at her.

"That's cool. Do you know how to surf?" she asks excitedly, ignoring my nervousness. She moves up to the 'A's and I seem to follow her there. I begin to look at some CD's

"Uh, yeah, when I was younger I did," I tell her. She just nods her head in response.

"So, are guys the family moving in on Tree Lane Drive?" she inquires picking up an Avril Lavigne track.

"Er, yeah, do you, live on that, street? "I ask her curiously. She open her mouth to answer, but before she can, her phone goes off. It blares My Chemical Romance's Sing. I smile at her choice. She holds her finger up as if to say 'Give me a second'. I give her small nod. She grins and turns around. I finally notice she is wearing a huge sweatshirt that covers her pants. The hoodie hangs off her shoulder. I look at back of it. it reads, "Salem Boys Swim Team. The Sharks. #4. Finnick." I sadden a bit at the thought that she may have a boyfriend. I listen to her conversation on the phone. She strolls over to the next aisle.

"Yeah, okay. Yes, I got everything. Fine, okay. Gosh! CALM DOWN CATO!" Oh, Cato is who I'm guessing is her brother.

"Just talking to someone before you rudely interrupted. I don't know maybe your a psychic and you just knew I was having a conversation with a guy. No, he is not a thug, what hell the is wrong with you? Yes, he is very nice. Yeah. His name is Peeta. NO. God! No, you don't need to kick his ass!" She pokes her head around the corner, looking and acting very casual. "By any chance, do you know how old you are?" she says in a nonchalant tone.

"16"I answer with a nod of my head.

She hurries back around the corner."Yes I just asked him now. It's not like before I start talking to someone I ask how old they are! I'll meet you there. Ok. Bye."

Before she notices I was easedroping, I hurry and pick up a disc not caring which one.

"Dolly Parton, huh?" she looks at me with a smirk.

"Oh, yeah, so do you happen to live on Tree Lane?" I go to look at her, but she is busy picking up her basket and putting in her few alubms. She starts to walk away, but stops and twirls around,

"Same side, last house, six four wheelers. See you later, California." She walks backwards, still giving me that smile.

"Bye," I say, but she is already gone. When I find my parents, they are in the check-out line. I put my stuff in the cart. My dad raises an eyebrow when he sees the Avril Lavigne track, the same one as Katniss'.

"What?" I question innocently. My dad puts his hands up in defense as if saying 'Never mind'. When we get to the car, Delly and Charlie practically burst open with their mouths running a mile a minute.

"Peeta, your never gonna guess," Delly starts.

"Who we saw when," Charlie says.

"When we were looking at clothes!" Delly finshes.

Charlie opens her mouth to say something but, I quickly stop her.

"You guys! Stop it!" I tell them both.

They both look at each other in confusion and then look at me "Stop what?" They wonder in unison. I throw my head back in frustration.

"The twin thing! Just stop with your weird twin sentence finishing! What ever it is just stop!" I exclaim, not even looking at them. They are silent the rest of the drive home. Instead of turning down the way we had earlier, Dad just kept driving. Weird.

"Dad where are you going?" I inquire.

"They are fixing the storm drain on our corner, so I have to go around the block," Dad replies, trying to look through the windshield. It's so fogged up you can barely see a few feet in front of you.

By the time we find the right turns and corners, we find our street Tree Lane Drive. I can't but think what Katniss told me "_Same Side. Last House. Six four wheelers" _I hurry and turn my head to the direction of her house and see them in the driveway. Cato seems to be carrying most of the bags and talking to Katniss, who is at the moment using wild hand gestures towards him as she talks. I can't help but smile a little at the brother/sister love. Next thing I know, Delly is jumping across me over to the window smushing her face into the glass.

"Oh my God! Delly, what the hell are you doing?" I shout at her trying to push her off me.

"That's her! That's her! We saw her at Wal-Mart! That's what we were trying to tell you Peeta!"

"Peeta lauguage, and Delly get off your brother" My mom barges in the conversation.

"I know. I met her already," I tell them, so they can get off my back about it.

"You met a girl Peeta?" My mom turns around in her chair to face me and gives me questioning look.

"Yes Mother, I did," I reply.

"What's her name? Does she live near us? What is she like? Does she know about you-know-what?" Mom fires questions at me.

"MOM!" This seems to stop her.

"Her name is Katniss. Yes, she lives on the same street as us and yes, she does know." That's all I tell her and I don't think they need to know all about Katniss just yet. I mean, just look at effect she has.

**So guys! That was blackstarashes last chapter! Big thank you to my wonderful Beta Mockingjay Rue!**

**Seven reviews by ten o clock for the update tonight!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS IS SHORT AND I APOLOGIZE**

I can still remember the day like it was yesterday, the rain had been falling for a good week before the diagnosis. It was as if God was crying along with me. I didn't understand what happened at first, or why the nice doctors were poking me with things that made me so sick.

You see, when you're eight doctors are always supposed to be good at saving lives, and making you feel better. I didn't know why every time they stuck me I would feel so sick. The second day was always the worst, it still is. I'm used to it now, the aches and vomit.

Somehow I managed to push through a hell that an eight year old, really anyone, should never have to endure. Now it doesn't bother me as much, I just go to a place in my mind where everything is good, a place the cancer can't touch. I stay there until the poison is well out of my body and my strength returns for the few days between treatments.

Before cancer, I was the happy girl that everyone knew, I loved life. Ever since the diagnosis, pushing people away has become easier than letting them in. Nowadays, Cato and Finn are the only ones that can really get to me. I think Gale is so afraid that if he gets too close I'll die on him, he's the one person I miss the most.

So that leaves me where I am today, wondering why on earth the boy from the store has left me wanting so much more.

I look up at Finn, done thinking for the moment. We're sitting in the living room together; he's reading some book Annie convinced him to read. How she does it I'll never know.

"Hey Finn" I burst out suddenly, mentally cursing myself for starting the conversation I know is bound to happen.

"Yeah, do you need anything?" his voice is laced with the usual worry that seems to loom like a cloud over everyone's heads.

"No, I just have a question" I fiddle with a loose string on one of the couch pillows absentmindedly.

"Shoot" he grins, putting the book down.

I know he's only excited because I'm getting him away from the sob story the book Annie gave him is turning out to be.

"When you first saw An, did you know?" I ask, my cheeks reddening, hoping he doesn't question my motives for the silly interrogation.

"Know what?" he asks but doesn't give me time to answer "Know that I would someday love her more than I love sugar cubes?" he smirks, popping one into his mouth. I have no doubt that he dug the ones mom threw away out of the trashcan.

"You're repulsive Finn, but really, did you know you would love her?" I look down at the pillow gain, still fiddling with the loose string.

"Why thank you" he gives me his signature goofy grin before answering the question "I saw her and I knew that she was the one. She didn't want anything to do with me at first, but love has its ways Katty, it works its magic sometimes without you even knowing." He replies sentimentally.

"You're spending way too much time watching soap operas with her Finn" I laugh, grabbing my blanket off of the couch next to me.

"You heading up?" he stands, opening his arms for a goodnight hug.

"Yeah, I need to get a good rest before Saturday" I give a soft smile not wanting to bring the mood down with chemo talk.

"You know I would gladly take the cancer for you if it meant you were healthy" he smiles back, enveloping me in his familiar arms.

"Finn don't talk like that, I'm glad it's me not you" I hush him immediately.

"I know you are, have a good night" his normal Finnick happiness is gone and the air around us is tight with tension.

Cancer has taken so much from me already, when will it decide enough is enough?

When I get to my room, I don't lie down on the bed, I sit down at the desk. The neat sheets of paper with the birds on them sit in front of me.

I don't know how long it's been since I've written her a letter. I can still see her dark smiling face, the way her face lit up when she talked.

She was so young, but cancer has no preference when it comes to that. It takes victims at random, sure some of them have a higher risk, but no one deserves to go through what we have.

Rue died a year ago from Saturday after battling four years with a brain tumor that spread to various organs and parts in her body. By the time she died I don't know if there was a part of her you could name that didn't have a tumor.

For a child her age, brain tumors are one of the rarest forms of cancer. She didn't deserve to die; she had her whole life ahead of her.

When she first died, I visited her grave every day. It didn't matter that the snow and cold air was just going to make me sicker, or that the rain was going to eventually give me a near death experience with pneumonia. All that mattered to me was seeing Rue.

For the first three months I went every day, then by the fourth I was getting sicker, so I wrote her letters everyday which Cato delivered faithfully every Friday. By the seventh month, the letters slowed, and now rarely do I pick up the pen to write her a letter.

My hands caress the sides of the thick stationary paper Finnick got me for my birthday. The birds that surround the edges remind me of her and the way she used to perch up on the side of my hair while they pumped the poison treatments into me.

The pen next to me is in my hand before I can even think, and it flies over the paper with ease, writing all the things I wish I could tell her.

_Dear Rue,_

_Has it already been a year?_

_It seems like just yesterday you were a tiny little ten year old, climbing around in the treatment center, trying to avoid the nurses._

_I miss you so much Rue, it almost hurts thinking about you. Not much has happened since the last letter, Gale and Glimmer broke up for what must be the thirteenth time in the past six months. I hate her Rue, I really do. She is taking Gale from me and he hasn't done a damn thing about it._

_Finn and Annie are still together, but I think they always will be. Cato still hasn't found the courage to ask anyone out yet, he's all talk but no game._

_You don't want to hear about my family do you?_

_I'm just writing this to tell you that I'm ok, even if I don't have you anymore. I know the one year will be hard, but I have family and friends that will get me through. I don't want you worrying up there for me, but angels can't worry can they?_

_What's it like up there Rue? I'm scared of what's going to happen. I wish there was some way that you could just tell me that everything is going to be fine, that there's somewhere up there waiting for me. I know I'm going to die; all I have to do is wait._

_I miss you Rue, more than you could ever imagine,_

_Katniss_

I drop the pen, looking down at the mess of a letter in front of me. The wet tears still stream down my face as I make my way to the bed pushed up against the wall.

As I pull down my bed sheets, the familiar drop of blood falls from my face onto the soft green.

Sighing, I grab a towel off of the rack next to my bed and call for Cato.

He comes charging in like a wild animal is after him. One look at the bloody towel and he springs into action, pulling off my sheets and handing me a new towel.

"I have to wash these, you can sleep inn my bed tonight, I can wait up until your sheets are washed" the pained look on his face gives him away. He doesn't want to stay up to wash my sheets; he has a football game tomorrow that he needs his strength for.

"Cato, no I can wait up" I argue, readjusting the towel on my face.

"Kat, sissy, go to bed, please" he begs, looking into my eyes with a pleading look. He's always worried about me.

For once, I don't argue back, treading heavily to his room. Right as I hit the bed, sleep knocks me out for another dreamless sleep.

**So, not my best work. I really don't like how it turned out, but it's late. This is of course a very short chapter. I will write longer chapters; this chapter isn't the usual length that they will be.**

**I apologize for any grammar mistakes, I do not have time to send this to my wonderful beta because of school, but the next one will be through her!**

**REVIEW, I cannot stress it enough, it makes me feel A. more accomplished, and B. update quicker.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	4. Chapter 4

**Before I get to the next chapter, I was so angry that I had to write it…**

**Let's clear this up: I write when it's convenient to me, not you. There will be spurts where I update daily and a week where I don't get a new chapter up. I have 5 running stories at the moment, a little update quick! Is fine, but don't tell me I can't handle another story. Because I will prove you wrong.**

**On a happier note, I love you guys! It was so nice to see some of my other story fans find their way to this story.**

**I write for the story that gets the most reviews, so that means if you want a quick daily update, you gotta review like my readers from the final piece. **

**I know that I have said it before, I hate songs in fan fictions, but I was listening to this song, thinking of how much it pertained, and I had to put it in. Please don't hate.**

**Also, if you want to tell me that you hate that I've taken over, don't waste your breath, constructive criticism is fine, but if you want to tell me how much you are angered by the author shift, save it.**

**REVIEW,**

**Love to all,**

**Dedicated**

"Finn" my voice rings through the almost empty house, embarrassment sweeps over me as I realize Cato's bed is covered in blood.

It hurts to move; today will be one of the bad days. Even off the chemo for breaks my body finds ways to hurt and ache.

There's no response, its only Friday. Cato and Gale have class on Fridays, Finn doesn't have a first hour, he should be here.

"Finn" I call out again, but it's hopeless.

I'm alone again for what must be the fifth time in the past two weeks.

Sighing, I drag myself out of the bed, trying to contain the bloody mess to one side of the bed. Thank god for water proof mattresses.

As I bundle the sheets together, I notice one of Cato's big sweatshirts on the ground. It's his state sweatshirt from football, it was the first time he missed a treatment.

I don't know what's so special between the two of us, from the time I was diagnosed, something clicked between us. I'm his little sissy, the one he was supposed to protect from the cruel world. I think he's just trying to be a normal big brother, only with me there's no boyfriends to threaten or friends to embarrass.

Finn tries to keep everyone laughing, but some days even Finn can't lighten the mood. When Finnick found Annie, he thought she was an angel. She's his savior, and as much as he hates to admit it, little innocent Annie Cresta keeps him sane.

The silence of the house encompasses me and suddenly all I want to do is be outside where the rain patters softly over everything.

I drop the sheets in the laundry room, pulling Cato's sweatshirt over my head, hiding the flimsy tank top I slept in.

I walk around the wrap around porch in search of my favorite spot nestled in the back corner. There have been so many memories here.

I could sit for ages and never bore. The rain soothes me; it makes me forget about the cancer, and the treatments that await me tomorrow.

When I'm outdoors, everything seems to fade away, and it's just me. I'm unstoppable then, facing the world with so much happiness and power that I'm sure I could take over. I'm alive again outside.

When I'm outside, for once in my life, the world can't hurt me.

I can hear Mrs. Sae's radio drifting out of her open window, the rain barely muting the stream of music. The song just started, and it's one I know with all my heart

… never came back  
You walk outside and all you see is rain  
You look inside and all you feel is pain  
And you can't see it now

But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself  
What am I doing here anyway  
With the weight of all those disappointments  
Whispering in your ear  
You're just barely hanging by a thread  
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath  
And you don't know it yet

Find the strength to rise above  
You will  
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself  
What am I doing here anyway  
With the weight of all those disappointments  
Whispering in your ear  
You're just barely hanging by a thread  
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath  
And you don't know it yet

One day you will  
Oh one day you will

I find myself singing along, loud and proud. My voice mixing with the singer's, trying to create the perfect harmonies I was once able to create.

I barely notice I have an audience until I hear the soft clapper coming from the other side of the porch.

I freeze, then finding some courage; I look up at the little blonde girl standing before me. Her hair is in two perfect braids, and for a second I swear I see Rue hidden somewhere in her features.

"You have a pretty voice" she points out after a second of my gaping.

I continue to stare; the situation is so odd and uncanny that I'm unsure of what to do.

She pushes herself off of where she perches on the railing and makes her way towards me.

"I'm Prim" I take the small hand held out in front of me into my own, staring at her with an unconvincing smile.

"Katniss, Katniss Everdeen" I try to smile warmly, but judging by the look on her face, she doesn't get any of the warmth.

"Oh I know" is her only response as she returns to her perch on the rail.

We sit in an uncomfortable silence; I just stare at her, wondering why the hell a twelve year old just decided to show up on my porch.

"Can I help you?" my soft voice is laced with confusion; all I can think about is how weird this situation truly is.

"Actually, yes" she responds with a small grin. "My family just moved here, and I have a brother that needs someone to talk to" she's interrupted by an angry sigh.

**With that, friends, I leave you. I know this chapter sucked, and it kind of wasn't my normal writing style, I've been out of it lately.**

**This is a two part chapter which should explain the short length.**

**The more reviews, well the most reviews, the quicker I update!**

**Promise for a killer next chapter, we will need a tissue box.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**

**Ps. the song in here is by Lady Antebellum, you should listen to it, and it's really great. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys,**

**This is a short little what I like to call "sneak peak" into the next chapter!**

**I apologize for not updating frequently, but I have a life outside of fan fiction that includes school and work, I barely have any time at all to write anymore.**

**It's gotten so bad that I was excited about an English paper… it definitely wasn't creative writing at all.**

**Katniss is a bit OOC here, she is taking on a softer role but don't worry in the next few chapters she will be back to normal**

**So please review, and if you go check out my newest story, it's called Stand By Me… it is a Katniss Marvel relationship, and leave a review I will put you in this story any way you want to be put into it.**

**The reason I'm doing this is because I need to know whether or not to continue it... it's like a test run for a possible story. It would make my day if a few of yall check it out.**

**Oh and in your review please tell me what time of day works best for me to review; I am American so please tell me in American time… not Australian. **

**So love to all,**

**Dedicated**

"Prim, what did I tell you about interfering with my friends" We both jump, the hard voice sends chills through my spine as I slowly turn to look for its owner.

"Peeta, I was just trying to help" she whimpers, her bottom lip trembles as she looks up at him with her big baby blue eyes.

I watch as his hardened facial softens, his lips curling into a small smile.

"Mom wants you Prim, she says that cleaning your room doesn't mean shoving all your clothes under the bed" he raises his eyebrows at her and her eyes widen. She's running across the lawn quicker than a dog chasing a cat.

"Sorry about that" Peeta shifts awkwardly on the deck, his eyes briefly meeting mine before they flit back off the other direction.

"She's sweet" I give him a small chuckle trying to make the situation less awkward.

"She's not, she's a little devious mastermind hiding behind big blue eyes and blonde hair" he grins leaning back onto the same rail his sister leaned upon earlier.

"I think she just wants to help" I look at the ground again, thinking of all the ways my family has helped me.

"What if I don't want any help" the conversation has just jumped from playful to serious with one small comment.

I look up slowly, I know the answer in my mind, we need help. I accepted that long ago, Cato convinced me of it. Granted there are times that I don't want help, when I wish the world would go away and not offer me help. Those are the moments I wish I could run and never stop. Those are the moments I wish I could go into the woods again without someone worried that I'm going to catch a cold.

My eyes find his as I search into his soul for answers. I can see the pain hidden, it's so clear in his eyes, and yet so subtle.

"What if you need someone to worry about you?" he looks at me, his eyes searching mine like I searched his.

"What-" his sentence is cut off by the slamming of a car door, I can't hear the footsteps and I immediately know who it is, he's the only one that could sneak up on me like that.

"Katniss, why are you outside, I thought we talked about you resting" Gale's voice is stern, he and Glimmer probably had another fight.

"I don't like resting, you know I'm not going to die from the rain" I snap back.

"Who are you" his words spit venom at Peeta, and his arms wrap protectively around my shoulders.

"I'm Peeta, who are you" Peeta's voice seems to send the same icy cool in Gale's direction.

"Her brother, Gale. I think it's best if you leave, Katniss needs to sleep" he tries to lead me into the house but I fight against him.

"Gale, stop it, what the hell is wrong with you" I yell. It stops him dead in his tracks, his chest heaves with an unseen anger inside.

"Just come- you know what no, get sick. See if I care" he spits, going in the front door and disappearing into the house, but not before slamming the door in my face.

"Wow, and I thought my family was messed up" Peeta gives a small chuckle as I slump back down into the chair. I hear the lock click and I sigh, this is beyond abnormal.

"I'm locked out" my eyes narrow and I stare up at Peeta.

"You can always come hang out in my house, my mom would love you" he gives me a weak smile that I return.

"Thanks, it is getting cold out here" We stand together.

Before we start to walk he takes off his hoodie and pulls it over my head, shrugging with a smirk.

"What, its cold out" I laugh and pull the hood up over my head as we walk through the beating rain towards his house.

We walk in completely drenched, but the hoodie is still surprisingly warm.

"Peeta? Is that you?" Someone calls out from a room off the hallway we stand in.

"Yeah mom, Katniss is here with me" he calls back.

"Katniss is here" a squeal from upstairs rings through the house and I can hear the small sound of footsteps bounding down the stairs before a little blonde head appears in front of us.

"Hey Prim" I smile and she gives me a blinding smile. Her tiny arms wrap around my waist and surprised, I hug her back.

"Prim, release" Peeta laughs behind me with an annoyed sniff.

"Hello Katniss" Peeta' mom comes breezing into the room, her long hair sweeps down her back and for a second I'm envious of her beauty.

"Mom, this is Katniss" Peeta announces, as she walks towards me.

"Hi Katniss, you can call me Karrie. I've heard so much about you" she smiles and Peeta gives a long sigh.

"Come on mom, not cool" she chuckles, pulling me into a hug.

In this moment I decide that maybe I like having friends, and after all those years of pushing people away, I'm finally letting someone in.

**So, did anyone like the little 'sneak'? I had fun writing it; it's nice to write something happy for a change. It's interesting.**

**Review guys, and check out my other stories… it would make my day.**

**So please review, and if you go check out my newest story, it's called Stand By Me… it is a Katniss Marvel relationship, and leave a review I will put you in this story any way you want to be put into it.**

**The reason I'm doing this is because I need to know whether or not to continue it... it's like a test run for a possible story. It would make my day if a few of yall check it out.**

**Oh and in your review please tell me what time of day works best for me to review; I am American so please tell me in American time… not Australian. **

**So love to all,**

**Dedicated**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear God, this time you all have a reason to want to kill me. I have really been a jerk about this whole updating thing haven't I?**

**One of you reviewed just now telling me I should really update and I was like crap, I should.**

**I read that 300 word thing and I was like no. Disregard all of it; I obviously wasn't tracking right when I wrote it.**

**I'm sure you all would love to hear all of my silly excuses for not updating but I bet you would like to read now.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**

"I like your mom, she seems so," I pause searching for the right word in my mind "nice." I finish, looking around the landing of the basement in amazement.

The basement is giant, painted warm and homely colors. Boxes lay around, some untouched from their previous move. The couch is sitting against the back wall, and a small area is cleared around it big enough for the small coffee table.

"Yeah, she worries about me a lot though, sometimes I wish she wouldn't." he responds absentmindedly as he digs through a box of what appear to be movies.

"Ever seen, God these are all Prim's movies." he drops the box back down to the ground with an exasperated sigh "Would you rather watch Tangled or no, we aren't watching that" he drops a Justin Bieber movie back into the box.

"I'm really fine with whatever." I laugh quietly as he flips the movie case over to read the summary "It's a really good movie." I offer with a smirk.

I made Finnick take me to it when it came out in theaters. I'm not usually into the whole princess girly stuff, but this one was different. She seemed to want to be brave, with her innocent eyes and tough determination. Or maybe it was just that I wanted to get out of the house. Finnick loved it, although he won't admit it to anyone, I know he did.

"Can I ask you something?" he looks up at me, whispering quietly above the sound of the rain and thunder outside.

"Shoot" I respond quickly, playing with a loose string on the edge of my shirt.

"Why did you let your brother push you around like that? I mean, you just took it all. If he was my brother I would have punched him the minute he opened his mouth" Peeta's eyes narrow to slits and hate reverberates off of him.

"I guess you just learn to take it, he took the news differently than the rest of my family. We always used to roughhouse, but now he thinks he could break me with one touch. I just let him love me the way he needs to and I try to accept what he gives me. Plus, whatever he doesn't give me, I can always get from Finn or Cato." I smile thinking about my family.

"You don't care then?" he asks, his blue eyes fill with wonder.

"No, not really" my shoulders shrug unconsciously.

"I get angry at people that hate; I just don't understand what could make a person so vile and horrid. I just want to punch them in the face. They don't know what they've got until it's gone." His words sink into me, and I remember the little birdlike girl once again.

Her family life was rough; her daddy was working two jobs just trying to keep up with the treatment bills and frequent trips to the hospital. Her mom was a nonexistent hooker. She rarely visited, and when she did it was always to try and get money out of the poor girl. Rue kept up her optimism, never once did she frown or cry. She knew everything would be ok, either way.

What Rue didn't count on was her family falling apart when she died. Her dad drank himself into an alcoholic with the news of the death. The court ruled him unfit after only three weeks. Her little sisters were taken into homes and the older brother she loved so much murdered someone that punched him at a bar. He was stabbed to death in the jail with a sharpened end of a spoon.

"I don't get it either." I respond quietly.

"But you seem to get it pretty well, I mean look at how you handle things." His words fly out with an exasperated throw of his hands, a sure sign of his frustration.

"I learned a long time ago that it's better to just take it than fight it. I know what's right, but I also know that sometimes to get what's right, there has to be a sacrifice and that sacrifice may be hard. It's worth it though." I smile in my mind, thinking back to all the times I've let Cato carry me up the stairs or Finnick making my bed for me even though he hates chores.

"You're weird you know that?" he grins with a gleam in his eye.

"I know." I respond with a chuckle.

The movie is like a strange fuzz in the background as we talk, I learn about his family and he learns about mine.

I tell him about Cato and what a good big brother he is. I tell him how Cato cried when he found out I had cancer, and how he didn't leave my bedside until my parents dragged him out. I laugh with Peeta about Cato's girl problems and how I cause most of them. I tell him about when I was twelve and he was 14. Cato had his first girlfriend, a girl named Twill. I hated her incessant chatter. I dumped a bowl of hot soup in her lap. Cato didn't speak to me for a week but it was worth it, so worth it.

I giggle about Finnick's obsession with sugar cubes. I tell Peeta about sweet Annie, and how Finnick found her wandering the street aimlessly one night. Annie isn't all there sometimes, but I like her. She isn't herself when Finnick isn't around. I decided Finnick makes Annie sane and Annie makes Finn happy.

Finally I tell him about Gale, and how much he used to love me. We talk about our fort in the woods, and the hunting gear we stole. I tell him how Gale used to brag that his sister had the best shot he'd ever seen. We would drag back whatever poor animal we caught and put it in front of my mom. Dad would be proud, but mom would insist we gave it a burial in the back yard. Those were the good times.

I relive the good times, try to get past the bad, but most importantly, I laugh.

Laughing is foreign, something reserved for the happiest of moments. But the strangest thing of the whole ordeal is that I'm having fun, with someone that isn't my family. For once I'm letting someone else in, and it feels pretty darn good.

**I apologize for the length; it really is all I could do! **

**I am reeeeeally busy, and I regret putting this off because I made a commitment to everyone reading that I would update often. It upsets me to know that I did not live up to what you guys expected.**

**If you have anything to say about, please PM me and get it all out there! I will take it all if you guys are mad at me.**

**I'm so sorry guys, I will try harder.**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**


	7. Chapter 7

**Well hello again my beautiful readers, hope everything is well with all of you!**

**Without further Ado, let the story unfold!**

I watch the needle as it pokes into my arm, finding the vein and catching it quickly. Memories of old needles and IVs cloud my thoughts as I stare down at my arm. It's almost as if I've convinced myself glaring at the needle will make the whole ordeal go away. I can feel the sickly fluids entering my arm and chills sweep through my body. The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention as I stare down at the tube now in my arm, pumping poison straight into my weak body.

Cato catches my chin in his hand, pulling me away from my dark thoughts of needles and poison.

"Hey," he whispers softly, forcing me to meet his comforting gaze "what's going on up in that mind of yours." His smile sends a wave of warmth through me, and I look at my big brother with a smile.

"Nothing." I lie through the smile, nudging him gently on the shoulder with my arm.

"So that new kid, Gale said he caught you two on the porch the other day." Cato wiggles his eyebrows at me, shoving me back, probably a lot harder than he intended.

I fall back in the chair dramatically and he panics.

"Oh God Kat, are you ok? I promise I didn't mean to hit you that hard." His body hovers over me as he sloppily pulls me up into a sitting position.

"Calm down, I was joking." I laugh, he sends me a glare, but can't hold back the laughter that it dissolves into.

"I hate you, but really, do I need to do some butt kicking?" his face turns into a mask of seriousness and I groan, looking out the window.

"The only ass you should be kicking is Gale's." our conversation takes an immediate turn for the worse; the tension is evident between us.

"Katniss Amber Everdeen, you know he means well." Cato stares at me, his face twisted in an odd attempt at anger.

"Don't call me that." I growl, glaring at him through narrow slits of eyes.

"Really Kat, he's just stressed out. Glimmer's been giving him hell again and he's in over his head with his new job. He grew up Katniss, you can't expect someone to play big brother forever. We have lives too you know." As soon as he closes his mouth, I can tell he regrets his words.

I stare at him, my mouth open, frozen in my chair.

"Get the hell out Cato, and send mom up when you leave. Wouldn't want you to have to play big brother for too long." I raise my chin defiantly at him. He knows better than to argue and turns slowly towards the door.

"You know that's not what I meant right Kat?" he whispers before he leaves, unable to look at me, he remains facing the door.

I don't respond, staring at his turned back until he gets the hint to leave. As soon as he does, I slump backwards in the recliner, putting up the foot rest with a sigh. The chair next to me is still unoccupied, either the patient died, or their too sick to come from treatment. Either way it makes no difference to me. I've seen so many poor souls come through this room; I've sat in this exact chair since treatment began.

A string on the arm catches my eye and I tug at it, thinking of all the people that have passed through the room.

When I was younger, the patient in the chair was an older woman named Mags. By the second or third days of our treatments, when the only noise coming from the room was vomiting and groans, she would pass me a stick of gum, some weird Japanese kind she found at her favorite restaurant. It was her way of telling me it would be ok. The woman was as crazy as a bat; she lost her mind years before the cancer took over. On good days she would tell me wild stories of her younger days, it took me a while to figure out none of it was true, but Mags, she believed every word of what she said. I suppress a chuckle remembering how before the treatment kicked in, her gray hair stood at all angles around her head.

Then it was a little boy named Foster, he only had one treatment before he disappeared, but he loved Spiderman. At the time I didn't speak a word to him, but I could see the pain in his parent's eyes as they watched him die right before their eyes. They knew he was gone before they even got a needle in his arm, they lost hope much too quickly.

The next girl was Jo, she's a survivor. I was eleven when she came to the chair, she was a rowdy teenager, laughing loudly and cussing about everything. I think Gale fell in love with her at first sight. She always wore a military jacket; hugging it around her while she shook from treatment. She kicked cancer to the curb after a year of treatments, but she always came back to visit me. She left for college three years later, and now she comes back for holidays, staying at our house for a few nights before she moves on.

Then there was Rue, my sweet Rue. She was the closest thing to a sister I had. I miss her and the soft smile that always danced across her face. I pat the chair, smoothing down the arm she used to perch herself on while I was treated. Of course the good things never last long. I took her death the hardest; I almost wanted to go with her. Her death was the death of the innocence in me, something I can never get back.

The last little girl was Alana; she sat silently in the chair, staring at the ceiling with tears in her eyes. She was only four, and her absence can only mean one thing. I look over at the empty brown recliner, even though we never had a proper conversation, I almost wish I could see her looking over at me with her big blue eyes.

The room seems so big and foreign when I'm alone in it. The familiarity and warmth seems to have been drained out bit by bit.

I look up at the TV, a kids show is playing, but it's just a faint buzz in the background of my thoughts. I calm myself down, letting my body sink down into the chair heavily.

The sound of the door opening startles me and I jump at the sudden noise, turning to face my mother in the doorway.

She sighs, sitting down on the stiff plastic chair next to my own.

"Your brother left a hole in the wall downstairs." She pats my arm as if it's going to make everything better.

"Not my fault." I respond haughtily, looking at the TV as if I've suddenly become engrossed in the children's show playing.

"Katniss, look at me, he didn't mean it. You know we're all on pins and needles around here. He doesn't need another fight in his life. You know he'll get suspended if he hits another kid." She meets my eyes, her messy blonde hair tells the tale of her stress and wear.

"Mom, I can't help it if he gets in fights. It's not my fault." I snap, pushing away the blankets around my feet.

We've turned a blind eye to his bad habit for so long now, pretended it wasn't there. We don't make it any easier though. He hides it at home, and plays the big brother that he needs to be, but at schools it's a different story. Kids used to pick on him, ask him why his sister was bald, he just got used to picking fights, hitting people for no reason. He keeps that side from me, protecting me from the monster on the inside of him, yes, Cato considers it a monster. I consider it his way of coping. Either way the habit must stop.

"I know Katniss, but you could have been a little easier on him." She smiles softly at me, running her hand across my cheek "I'm so proud of you baby, you are so strong." She smiles again, a fresh batch of tears streaming slowly down her pale face.

"Mom, come on don't cry." I pull her into my arms, careful not to pull out the IV.

"Baby, I'm trying not to." My mother wipes her eyes furiously, blabbering on about something or other.

"Where is Cato?" I ask slowly, praying he hasn't been taken into the station again.

"Clove came to calm him down, you know how she works." She's still wiping the tears away when I look back at her.

I look back to the window, my mind distracted by the many things clouding my thoughts. When I was little I never thought I would be sitting here, with so many problems and lost dreams. I never believed anything bad could happen to me.

"He hit Gale." My mom finally whispers, picking a magazine up off the table, hiding behind it.

"Oh my god, he did what?" I groan, throwing my head back on the chair. Why does life have to be so complicated?

"Whatever you two fought about must have really got to him." Is all she says before she's engrossed in her magazine once again.

I look at the chair again before turning my head to face the door, I should be done anytime now, today is always the best, but tomorrow will be worse.

"What do you think happened to Alana?" I ask my mom, facing her.

She looks up at me, giving me a sad smile "She was moved to Chicago, they don't think she'll make it through, I talked to Cinna about it today." I nod acknowledgement, leaning back.

Why is life so cruel?

**Next chapter there will be a KxP interaction, I just don't want this to go too terribly fast, I don't find either of them the type to do that.**

**I am going to go make some homemade pizza now, pray that I don't burn down my house!**

**Love to All,**

**Dedicated**

**PS- I will read one of your stories if you review! I am on the prowl for new stories to read!**

THE NEXT UPDATE: Will be January 18th


	8. Chapter 8

**I owe this to you all. I apologize again, but I also want to let you know that this is a filler. Kill me, I know. The next chapter will have TONS of KxP.**

**Read and Enjoy!**

I sit staring at the wall, my mother has drifted off to sleep, the magazine splayed out across her lap. The sun peeking in the window hurts my eyes and I blink a few times. The small nap I previously took has done nothing to help the ache in my head.

The creaking of the door shocks me into oblivion, and I jerk my head in the direction of the heavy door. My mother jumps up, and the magazine falls to the floor with a dull thud.

"Hey Ma!" Finn's toothy grin brightens up the already bright room even more.

"Finn, I thought you and Annie were going out tonight." My mother's voice is worn and sleepy, the problems of a single parent with cancerous child.

"I cancelled, I know you have a shift tonight, and I didn't want Kat to be alone, with Cato gone and all." I can hear the hesitation in his voice; he isn't sure what my reaction will be.

It doesn't come as a shock to him when I don't respond, and look away back to the window.

"Katniss, I'm sorry sweetheart, but I do have to go. I'll be back in the morning, Finn can take you home, right baby?" she pauses to give Finn a quick peck on the cheek, not really waiting for his response before she grabs her bags.

"So, what are we going to do tonight? I was thinking something along the lines of scary movie night." Finn plops down into my mother's unoccupied chair, picking up the magazine that she dropped.

"I don't know Finn, I don't know if I can trust you not to pee your pants." I let out a soft chuckle, playing with the frazzled ends of an old pillow that sits on the couch.

"One, that was two years ago, and two, did you see that chicks face, that was some freaky shit right there." He gives his signature grin and I sigh into the chair.

"Only if you get me chocolate, I won't be able to hold anything down by tomorrow." He smiles again.

"That's a deal; I can pick up your meds while we're at the store. I think mom said we ran out of Vumon yesterday. Are you feeling good enough to walk, or do you want me to drop you off while I go to the store?" he picks up his backpack off the floor, pulling out a stick of peppermint gum. He takes it out of the wrapper, handing it to me with a grimace.

"I'll be fine, might as well get out before tomorrow, you know what a hell the next few days will be." I take the stick of gum from his hand, throwing it into my mouth quickly.

The door opens once again and I'm greeted with my biggest fan.

"Cinna!" I gasp excitedly, reveling in his warm smile.

"There's my favorite girl." He responds, with even more excitement.

"Where were you this morning? Selma had to hook me up." I shiver in disgust, thinking of the snobby nurse with her blonde hair and tight pants. She hasn't been well-liked by anyone in the practice since she shot the wrong medicine into my system and nearly killed me a few years back. Cinna said she only kept her job because her uncle is a big shot in the management sector.

"I know, I had to show the new guy how to hook another one of our patients up, wouldn't want another Selma mishap." He takes a needle tube out of my arm, switching off a few switches of my monitor.

"Will you be here tomorrow? Everyone has school again and mom has to work." His answer is muffled by his arm when he responds and I give him a questioning look.

"Yes, but I won't get to stay like I normally do. Don't worry though my little fire girl, there's a new patient that will be here for you tomorrow. I'm sure you two can talk." He finally gets all the equipment off of me, giving me a reassuring pat.

"Ok." I respond numbly, the thought of tomorrow doesn't send me any comfort with Cinna gone.

"We'll get through this ok, you're still so strong. I promise you we're going to get you through this, just like Jo." He gives me a wink, loading everything back into a case.

As the door shuts behind him, I look up at Finn. He's watching me intently, like he's trying to memorize my features. I'm tempted to smile, or blush under his gaze, but instead I look away shyly.

"Finn, stop that, you're making me feel uncomfortable." I shy away from his looks, getting up out of the chair.

My mind spins for a little while, and I have to grab onto the side of the chair to steady myself.

"Kat?" Finnick jumps into action, grabbing onto my shoulders to keep me up. As always he's overreacting.

"I'm fine." I groan, pushing him off of me "just saw stars for a few seconds, nothing to be concerned about." I make my way to the door, turning the handle rather quickly.

He sighs, following me closely, but I don't touch on it, letting him do his "brotherly duties". A few of the nurses in the hallways give me goodbyes and a few smiles, Selma glares at me from her desk. Finnick shoots her a glare and she turns away from me quickly.

"Let's go to the store!" Finnick grabs my hand, singing in a sing song voice giddily.

I miss times like these with him. With Annie around, we've both grown so far apart. It's nice to finally have him back, around me, just the two of us. I like it.

**This will be the most important AN you will ever read from me: I have decided that I will write only one more story after this. I will finish the stories that I have started, no, I haven't forgotten about them. This new story is going to be different and it will mean more to me than the world. **

**If you have read Fixed, you can tell, Delly and Thom have an important role in the fiction. That's because Delly is me. After this story I will be telling my story. Uncut and unedited, only my Thom doesn't know just how much he has done for me yet. Delly has a dark past, and I am going to tell it. I hope you all will support me like you always have and I know it will be a success.**

**Once I post the last chapter of that story, I will formally quit writing Fan Fiction. I am going to start focusing on my real writing and get back into my originals so that maybe someday a few of you will know me as more than just dedicatedwallflower.**

**I hope you all will enjoy the stories that I will finish, and if you like this story you will love Fixed. Katniss and Peeta have a past that you see a lot of. **


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, this is just a little note to say that I have not forgotten about these stories. Some things from my past that I did not know about have come back up into life and have made it really hard to focus on anything. I promise to have updates soon, with this being said I am putting a hold on a few of my stories so that I can get a few completed.

On hold: Confessions of a Victim, Together We Stand, Spoke to Me

To Be Completed in the Near Future: At First Sight, Walk With Me.

Special Cases: Fixed; updates will come when I feel the need to write.

**PS, fans of Fixed should read The Day the Sun Stopped Shining; it is the death of Peeta and the car crash that caused it. Consider it a special gift from me to you.**

I cannot apologize enough for this, but I am still here, and yes, I am still very alive.

Love to All,

Dedicated


	10. Chapter 10

Hello Everyone,

Dedicated speaking, I have not updated in ages, and yes, before you lay into me, I have real reasons.

I have been in the hospital stuck in a morphine induced high that included talking dragons named Buttons and Danger, and you guessed it, Nick Jonas making a surprise appearance as my husband along with Jake from state farm. So unless you wanted chapters full of crazy talk, you should be happy I haven't updated.

Secondly, my little brother is very ill. I am flying out to Philly for many more hospital appointments and tests with my family. I don't know how many of you are religious, but if you are, I would appreciate some prayers or thoughts. My little brother is my life, and seeing him sick has been one of the hardest things in the world.

I am working on writing new chapters, but as of now, until JULY all of my stories are on hold until I can get life organized. I'm sure you all will be _**VERY**_ understanding.

Love to All,

DedicatedWallflower


	11. thank you

Hello everyone, this is dedicated once again. Actually this is really from my little brother who wants to thank each of you for your support. He was so excited when he saw that people from all across the USA and even the world were praying for him.

As his big sister this really means so much to me. You all have made him happy, and thats more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Love to all,

Dedicated


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